Now, tis the season to make resolutions. I very often don't actually end up making resolutions, and as often as I do make them, I don't end up keeping any of them. I got to thinking about my resolutions for 2011, and when I realized I hadn't accomplished any of them I also realized I didn't make any last year. I was decidedly too busy being in Newport Beach "living the life", sharing a condo with my niece and nephews and going to the Rose Bowl to be bothered with resolutions. Apparently. At least I have somewhat of an excuse for not growing or progressing as a person. Right? Right?!?!
Anyway, this year I am actually going to make a resolution or two, and I'm writing them here so that I can actually A) remember what it is and B) have a constant reminder that I am either accomplishing it or am a complete slug for not doing anything.
Mu first resolution is to work on my book. That doesn't mean I need to work on it everyday. Baby steps, baby steps. It means that I need to do some serious work on it over the next year. Preferably to have it done by this time next year. That would be ideal. My last semester of college was an immense amount of writing and I was burned out, but I think that's wearing off and I might be ready to work on this project. I hope I am anyway, because I feel like a lazy, ungrateful teenage (2 of which I am NOT) for not working on it during all my loads of free time.
I've been thinking really hard about a second resolution and I can't really come up with one. I suppose I'd like to work on maybe not hating the general population so much, perhaps not letting people's idiocy irritate me so much, possiblly attempt to have a brighter outlook on life. I'm not sure these are things I can change though. I do wish that I liked people, that I could be a little more like my brother-in-law Andrew and get along with everyone, whether I like them or not. But I'm not going to be that way and I know it. I think that's why I want to be a writer, so I can sit in my house and be a recluse because that's what writers do.
I always admire the people who have overcome adversity and have had generally really hard lives and still believe the best about people and the world. I do wish I could be like that, but I've become jaded, for no particular reason other than it's the easier thing to do, and believing the best in people seems cliched to me now. Perhaps if I can change my way of thinking, I can start believing the best in people. Rather than being a judgey-pants, I should make up stories about people in my head, decide that maybe the creeper on the bus isn't just a gangly oaf who stares at me, but a guy who trains seeing eye dogs on the weekends, and during the week, on the bus, pretends to be blind so he can understand the impact his work with seeing eye dogs has on people. Right? Right??!?!
So I guess that means my second resolution is to change my way of thinking. Easier said than done, but a resolution isn't a resolution unless it's challenging. If I actually do get my book written and am successful in starting to believe that people are inherently good and not irritating, 2012 might actually be the end of days.