Friday, August 21, 2009

First Night, New House

Here it goes.  Here I go.  Away from comfort and familiarity... to unknown and uncertain.  As I sit in my (new) room in the Humanities House I am listening to Chantal Kreviuzak sing "Leavin' On a Jet Plane" and I wish that I could be back in my own bed at my parents house.  Or in my own bed in a house with Steph and Mehgan somewhere.  But I'm not.  Mehgan is in Florida and Steph's in Millcreek and I'm on campus.
It's not that I'm afraid... that's a lie, I'm TERRIFIED.  I'm afraid of the unknown that's gaping in front of my life and swallowing the next 8 months of my life.  I'm afraid my new roommates are going to be stuck up and elitist.  I'm afraid I'll be subpar compared to them.  What if I lose touch with all my old friends and don't make new ones?  What if I don't make time for things like friendship and dating and fun?  "Things can move at such a pace, the second hand just waves goodbye".  I don't want that to be my experience in Officer's Circle.  I'm afraid it's what I'm going to make it and I'm not sure how to stop that from happening.  Plus, I swear the clock said 1:07 five minutes ago.  Perhaps it's a sign that I need to slow down, refuse some things that I'm asked to do, leave behind a commitment or two.  Or perhaps it's telling me to go to bed because it's one a.m. and it's been a long day, and tomorrow promises to be the same.  
Though I'm afraid, I'm excited for the next 8 months.  I think good things will happen while I'm here, things that couldn't have happened if I was safe in my own bed somewhere else.  I think I'll enjoy a much shorter commute to campus, since I'm already there.  I'll have at least 2 new friends in Victoria, my roommate, and Heid, my RA.  "Life's what you make it, so let's make ir rock."  I hope I'll over come my fear and make this situation the best ever.  "La la la la la la la life is wonderful..."  For now I just need to sleep.