Monday, December 17, 2012

Gray Bleeds into Black Bleeds into Gray

Last week I started writing about how much I love J.R.R Tolkien and all his stories about Middle Earth and how The Hobbit release was unleashing the nerd I so long have repressed. But things got busy and before I could finish it tragedy happened and it felt rather silly to publish something like that at this moment. But I also don't want to weigh heavy on Sandy Hook and gun control and the stigma this country gives to mental illness. I don't have answers, obviously, to gun control and mental health and how to prevent more of these tragedies from happening. At present lots of people think they do, and instead to coming together as a nation and supporting the families of victims, as well as each other, people are arguing and bickering and naysaying about who's idea is better, who's idea is right. In the words of Jack Nicholson from Mars Attacks!: "Little people, why can't we all just get along?".

 And so, if Connecticut feels too heavy, and Tolkien feels too light, what do I write about? Part of me thinks something light would be appropriate and needed now, and the other part thinks it would somehow be disrespectful. So I think maybe I'll talk about what has consistently gotten me through the tragedies in my life: faith. Cliched, right? I probably don't have anything new to say, and there are literally thousands of people who can say it better, but at this moment, it's all we've got.

I was typing out an epistle, and none of it was saying what I wanted to say. Instead, here is a soliloquy that is much shorter and enjoyable while perhaps being minutely insightful:

Faith is not easy. But however difficult faith is, it certainly makes difficulty easier. It's imperative to believe that what happens is somehow meant to be, even when it doesn't align with what is wanted to happen. Faith is not easy, but it makes things easier.

When humanity seems lost, all hope of tomorrow fades, the world has gone to hell and the right to life is callously denied, no matter who or what you believe in, faith will carry you through.

Farewell, wherever you fare, till your eyries receive you at your journey's end! (The Hobbit)

**This post is short, and offers little, but for every page view it receives I'll donate 50 cents to the Emilie Parker Fund or Sandy Hook School Relief Fund.

Related posts:
Sleep Through The Static
Somewhere, Beyond the Sea

1 comment:

  1. So should I view it like 100 times?! :)

    This weekend felt like one of the longest weekends of my life. And I'm not even directly affected by this horrible tragedy-- I'm just another parent whose heart aches for those parents and siblings, and just another teacher who was a little more than scared to go to work Monday. I can't even remember how many times I cried in the past few days. Twice today alone, listening to NPR in my car on the way to work and at lunch. I don't know the answers, and I don't think any one person has them. I agree with you that faith can bring you through. Having that hope provides the branch to cling to when the waters are rising so high you're afraid you'll drown. I struggle with faith because, since I am not religious, I have to wonder what to have faith in. Sometimes, I have faith in humanity-- but that often doesn't last long. Sometimes I have faith in some sort of higher power, a great Gaia of sorts who is in control more than we know or can conceive. All I know is that we should never take what we have for granted. We should be grateful for every night spent putting screaming babies to bed, every friend we have time to sit and talk to, every time we get to hug someone one more time and tell them, "I love you." Danny and I were talking about the theory of displacement-- the idea that if you put enough good into the world, eventually it will, hopefully, displace the bad. I've been thinking about that since Friday, and how to best accomplish that in my life. I'm going to continue doing my best to be grateful and to 'be the good' that I wish to see in the world. I love you cuz.