Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Point: Break

No, this is not a Patrick Swayze/Keanu Reeves movie where the two main characters are named Bohdi and Johnny Utah. I assume you would know that since you're reading and not watching, but I wanted to make sure we're all clear that there will be no John C. McGinley - which is a sad. He would make this so much better and hilarious.

This won't be hilarious. Not unless you count obscure pop culture references as hilarious. Which I do depending on the context. In Psych, yes. The Mindy Project, yes. Law & Order: SVU, no.

I'm coming to the point where I break.

I'm a pretty stable person. I've been through quite a few big things (read: "life changing things") in my life. I feel like I can handle a lot and come out on top and not breakdown due to stress or anxiety or nervousness (read: "nervous breakdown").

Metaphorically speaking: I'm standing on the edge of a Grand Canyon cliff. A slight, warm, gentle breeze puffs through the air. It's just enough force, possibly the least amount of force there physically is, to push me over the edge into a many-hundreds-of-feet free fall which will end in my flatten, bloodied, crushed body on the canyon floor, just a speck to the spectators above.

That's where I'm at.

I am Milton and someone took my stapler.

And things aren't going so well because of it. First of all, I'm terribly grumpy. Secondly, it's making me want to check out of everything, including the things I can't yet check out of because I need health insurance and money so I need to keep going to work. Third, I can't really seem to stop scowling. I try not to, just like I really try to not be grumpy, but it's just not working.

I have to endure for just a few more weeks. The source of my immense stress is finding somewhere to live in New York. That trip is coming right up, and I'm hopeful that after that trip (which will be a success! It will! IT MUST!), as crazy as this may sound because the real work begins after I have somewhere to live, my stress will subside a bit and I can not be so grumpy and scowly.

For now I should probably try my best to keep my head down and not get fired.

I just need to keep it together for a few more weeks. 


  1. Strengthen your fingernails...if that's what you're holding onto by ;)

  2. "And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire... "

    Anyway, hang on. You're almost there. Everything you've wanted is within reach-- you just have to hang on!! And YES your trip will be a success! Sending lots of good vibes your way... xoxo